All the way to lunch with Bill in tow, I was so excited. Kinda like when your souffle doesn’t fall or when your dinner is ready in the crock-pot when you get home. (Erma Bombeck, my heroine, said somewhere in one of her books….”don’t ever let the sun set on an empty crock-pot”). I feel like I’m finally coming together after way too many months filled with bypasses, check-ups, heart rehabs and so forth. No longer do I care what I look like when my fat ass passes a mirror. Everything now is focused on the holidays and fun,fun,fun. Looking forward to spending time with Lani in the kitchen, pretending we are master chefs and drinking our wine while we con-cock our famous feast.
Being a tomboy, of sorts, growing up….I never was real comfortable with all the domestic crap. Of course, all that came to a screeching halt when motherhood arrived, But I would much rather, as a teen, to be in the swimming pool or riding my favorite horse at Lakeside Country club (when they still had stables). And what a great time we are having as a family now. My kids are all happy, working, and actually talking to me. And by that I mean…remember when kids were at the age when they didn’t want anything to do with you. Wouldn’t talk to you because parents weren’t cool. And heaven forbid being in the same room with you if one of their pals showed up! So, now I’ll feeling on top of the world. So spunky that I am getting ready to do a few changes to the house.
Bill always says that my eyes start to sparkle when I’m up to something. I can’t help it. My mind goes into gear and then that’s it. Well, I’ve decided the kitchen needs an addition. A TV addition. So that anyone eating at the bay window bar will be able to view the “boob tube” while dining on the “bird”. The Texans play at 11:30 on Thanksgiving morning. If you are sitting at the beautiful mosaic bar that Casey made, you will not be able to see the big screen that everyone else can view from all other points in the kitchen. Electrician Casey, will hook it up and have it ready to go. The kitchen ceiling fan is near by so Bill is banned from the area when a ladder is in play. My non-domestic type lifestyle needs football to help me make it through the day of hungry friends and family that visit the compound.
Bookstores are stuffed with discounts, coupons, and suggestive books on how to throw a successful Thanksgiving meal. Really? A $30.00 book on instructions on how to screw up my turkey. Some of the things they come up with…to do…to that poor bird. Isn’t that why we bought a roaster, so we can stick Tom’s butt in there and turn it on without having to mess with it? Isn’t that why my mom forced me to learn how to make homemade cornbread because store bought stuffing’s sucks? Isn’t that why you open a can of Del Monte green beans and a can of the miracle substance, Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup, so that you can’t fail? Then I see dad walking across his porch. I think back on how he and men and women like him (of course, there is no one like Magoo), made all of this possible. Possible for us to sit and give thanks with the ones we love. Possible to cuss in the kitchen over an “over cooked bird”. Thank you dad. WW ll, U.S. Army Captain, and reconnaissance pilot. And Bill U.S. Air Force. And all the men and women that fought for our freedom…our green bean casseroles and a TV in the kitchen!
So, as you know, mom’s have 4 sets of eyeballs. No, really. Mine did. And radar to go with it. It is an acquired skill but it does exist. Ask any kid or husband. We have vision towards the north, east, south, and west. For instance, if Bill is in the kitchen…sink water running….then I hear him in a different room of the house and I shout what are you doing? Answer comes back letting the dogs out. Then why is the water on in the kitchen? How do you know that? PLEASE!!!! Have you ever seen the TV ad about the dad saying after everything he attempts (and I mean the key word is attempts) he always says “don’t tell mom”!? Well, Lani and I fought the grocery store mob yesterday to make sure we had everything needed for the big day. I am determined not to set foot in a store the entire week of “turkey Thursday”. Men should not be allowed to grocery shop. Better yet make them go to cart driving school. Every isle where a man is left unattended with children you hear stuff like this. Mom said not to get that. Mom said that’s not healthy. Mom’s going to be mad. Mom is going to rip you a new one dad. Not to mention driving the cart all over the isle. Come on guys …it’s like driving a car. Stay to the right. And corral your kids. Either keep them in or near your cart. Climbing the shelf to reach the Oreo Snacksters doesn’t cut it. If they had 4 sets of eyeballs like us….they wouldn’t have to retrieve their lost brat at customer service!
Enjoy life my friends. Reach out to someone that needs a little attention.