Oh Lord, you have finally challenged me to the limit. I have done the ultimate “gross out”. Getting Magoo to poop and pee on/in a pan. I really thought I had seen it all. Wrong! 98 year old “rod and reels” are a real piece of work. For all you mom’s out there I had the pleasure of raising two boys…know what I mean? Don’t approach the male equipment unarmed. You need protection of some kind. A shield, raincoat, mini umbrella, a tarp….anything to protect you from flying residue. Only difference between a baby and a 98 year old rod is the pressure of the stream! How can I describe this? The little guys is like a fireman’s hose. The 98 year old is like a stopped up garbage disposal. It seeps like when you flush a disfunctional toilet. And there is no difference between baby poop and 98 year old poop….it all stinks. One poop session at rehab sent Lani and I running. Now remember, Maggoo is on a “puree diet” …all of his foods are pureed. Magoo waited till we returned from lunch then let it rip. First asking us to turn him on his side. Big mistake! You know it’s bad when your nose hairs curl up and take a sabbatical. The housekeeping dude walks in with his nose safely tucked in his t-shirt saying here’s the spray for the dirty diap! Lani and I were hysterical. We have laughed more during Magoo’s episodes than any other time I can remember. What a hoot!!! Nothing like pureed poop!
Lilly, Magoo’s dog, has not only been sedated like Magoo but she is a frigg’in chip off the ole block. The dog whines like him, goes to the end of the porch to see if there is a vehicle in the driveway, (just to see if anyone is home…just like dad), nosey! Then goes in the house and finds some dumb-ass stunt to get attention. Lilly has taken clean clothes off the table and dragged them all over the house. She has taken pillows off the bed and couch and drug them everywhere. She pulled the blanket off the bed. So I think we need to adjust Lilly’s meds…. She is just as “nuts” as Magoo! Probably passed by osmosis. Next thing you know she’ll try to pee off the porch!
In all seriousness…dad is having good days and bad ones. He sleeps a lot and is not drugged up. Just plum tired. His seriquil, THE PILL, (which we refer to it), doesit’s job at night to keep him calm. I think a lot of it is boredom. Unable to move his body from the hips down has to be uncomfortable to say the least. Add 98 years to that and a few medical set backs like congestive heart, teeth rotting away due to age, sleep apnea, macular degeneration of the eyes, and prostate cancer and you’ve got a guy ready to exit to the spiritual world. Anyway we are hoping for quality of life and not quantity. So we have decided not to insert a feeding tube but to let him eat normally which could cause the lungs to fill. Aspirate. So we decided on pureed foods, which I mentioned before, and thick liquids. So hoping for a quick recovery or a quick exit with no pain. Magoo begins his rehab today….ought to be a trip!!!
So much more to write about so I will keep the stories coming. Probably add a few updates this week to keep every one abreast of Magoo’s progress. Thank you again for all the calls, cards, e-mails and prayers. Y’all are the best!