No Laughing Bladder!

At 62, one begins to wonder what happens to ones bladder, as one ages.  Bladder control is not a laughing matter.  You laugh…you pee.  You cough…you pee.  You sneeze…you pee.  You toot…you pee.  You run…you pee.  And if you are running or standing, better cross your legs to avoid a major flow.  (Seems like every blog now…I have to run to the blow dryer to dry off something).  It curious that the only time you can’t pee is when you have to.  Like a urine test.  I really hate to complain about  one of the last body parts I have in tact.  A woman gets rid of the menstrual pads and then has to purchase the bladder pads.  And you just thought the Kotex was awkward.  Select your slacks carefully.  Or else!  Or else you’ll look like you have the deformed crotch from hell.  Of course for men it just looks like they have bigger equipment….women get screwed again.

The people in Walmart have nothing on the people that dwell in downtown Houston.  I had the distinct pleasure of having to venture that far this past week.  I never go downtown unless it is unavoidable.  The theater district is pretty cool but everything else…ugh!  Now I remember why.  There is no way to describe the ensembles.  I thought my dad’s golf attire was off the wall….OMG!  I saw a pair of pants that looked like mold had grown on top of mold.  Oh, that was the design.  At least this girl was wearing pants.  The majority had their underwear or butts exposed and the pants were down to their thighs.  I felt like standing on the corner and giving out belts.  All the belts these people had were taken orally.  And they were actually had business downtown.  Going in establishments like business offices and courts.  One lady had her face cut up bad.  It looked like it had not been long since she faced that knife.  You had to keep looking around to make sure it wouldn’t happen to you.  Anyway, my point being, they need to start taking pics of the people that travel the downtown streets.  But again, they are probably the Walmart people in disguise. 

Moving Magoo’s things out has been a little tougher than I expected.  Each piece holds a special memory.  The clothes weren’t so bad.  Only because it was time for those to be ditched.  I mean the man had suits from the 70’s.  Very expensive…that’s why they lasted so long…but time to discard.  Framed pictures that were hanging were the worst.  The boo-hooing went on and on.  Nothing gets the ole heart pounding like a family photo taken in 1954.  You think back…I remember when mom and dad looked like that.  Mom so beautiful and dad so handsome. I remember my brother looking like that but is that really me.  Things were so simple then.  Dad had his war medals and pictures displayed.  I remember how proud he was of serving his country.  He could still fit in his uniforms until the day he died.  So as we pack up memories we are unpacking Dusty’s belongings. We go from 1940 radio to a 2013 computer.  Time does go on and nothing stays the same.  Nothing!  Thank goodness for memories that no one can take from you.

The mockingbirds have made another two story condo in the back veranda rose bush.  Daddy bird comes in with debris and mommy bird takes it and places it carefully in place.  Molly Maid has nothing on her.  There is not one twig, feather or horse hair out of place.  At night dad sits in the upper nest and watches while mom is  down in her cradling incubator.  Except for the excitement last night every thing remains peaceful.  The excitement last night?  A “friggin” snake…headed toward the rose bush.  Bill and I walked out to let Dusty’s dogs out and there it was.  OK…another good reason to wear a bladder pad!  With broom in hand, I was trying to sweep it back so it wouldn’t go in the rose bush and Bill was armed and loaded with the shovel.  Now if he could just aim.  The man missed the snake twice and here I am still sweeping.  Bill blamed it on the shovel…it was too pointed.  I’m still sweeping.  I could just hear all the little critters cheering us on.  Just like in Cinderella or Snow White.  After disposing of the body…in three pieces now….the frogs came out hopping, the birds were singing, and the june bugs were flying about, like “ding dong the snake is dead, the bad ole snake, the wicked snake, ding dong the snake is dead”!   

As mom used to say “do as I say, not as I do”.  Never really grasped the meaning, until of course, I had little hoodlums of my own.  Mom smoked when we were small and she never wanted us to.  She did quit..thank goodness, my brother and I hated it.  Probably why I never smoked.  But the words do fit with medical stuff.  If you feel bad call the doctor….don’t wait until it’s so bad you can’t fix it.  Wise words.  I wish there had been noticeable symptoms for ovarian cancer three years ago.  This past Friday I went in for an ultra sound of my right side where they took the gall bladder out 5 weeks ago.  Had pain in the area.  Complete blood work was also drawn.  Have not heard back from Dr. Sehorn..Dr. Bevers was on vacation last week.  I’m assuming all is well since one usually panics when you hear back right away.  Something like “get to my office …now”!  So mom…I’m listening.  And I will post results as soon as I hear something.

So my friends….enjoy life.  And you may… do as I do,  you’ll have a hell of a lot more fun!  Hugs!


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