Pistol Packing Momma!

Between Bill and daddy mockingbird it is a toss up of which one drives me more nuts!  Momma mock is settled in her two story condo keeping her four beautiful blue speckled eggs warm.  Meanwhile, daddy mock is fighting with the mockingbird he sees in the trucks two side mirrors.  He thinks another male is in his territory.  Bill is constantly cussing at this stupid bird because he has to clean bird poop off the mirrors daily.  I keep telling Bill that the bird is helping you get your exercise.  Otherwise, you’d be in your recliner with beer in one hand and remote in the other.  Sound asleep!  Now thoroughly pissed off….Bill has come up with a plan, a scheme, an ambush, to keep the bird away.  He has duct taped wash-rags over the mirrors!!!!!  I think Magoo has been visiting Bill while he sleeps.  I laughed my ass off when I looked out and the bird had moved to the windshield!  What are you going to do know Bill?  Duct tape a sheet to the windshield?  Bill says…the bird doesn’t know that he has a gun license.  And I said…even if he did, he’s a mockingbird…you know, state bird of Texas…protected…jail time in your near future.  Bill is now back in his recliner trying to figure out plan B.  Heard him mumbling something about a mockingbird remote.

Speaking of Bill with a gun license…..we both took the concealed weapon class on Friday.  I learned a lot.  The gun laws are something else.  But warning… Bill and Leilani are now equipped with a Texas concealed handgun license.  Don’t ask me what we plan to do with it but I figured with the way things are in this world and if that little bastard, the pres. of North Korea, gets any ideas…we are ready!!!!  Bill forgot his hearing aid!   No surprise, right?  So while the entire class is blasting away at the “paper man”….Bill is three shots behind everyone else.  Having to wear those earphones to save your hearing only made it worse.  Then it took him forever to load his pistol because his thumbs have arthritis and the man did not take notes for the test.  Now…we are taking the written test.  Fifty questions and everyone whips through it except …you know who!  So the instructor, famous for his reputation to pass everyone…even people named Bill…leaves the room so everyone can help Bill finish!  Did I mention he forgot his glasses too? 

Dusty had a very successful garage sale on Saturday.  He is selling his house.  Too many memories left there.  I mean we got rid of everything.  I’d almost forgotten how exhausting those sales are.  It takes one days to get ready and then the day of you are about to drop on site.  But you muster the energy to argue over the price of a pair of underwear and that ugly picture frame your grandmother gave you that you can’t even get rid of at a “white elephant” party.  Honestly, the Merlot never tasted so good. 

Thank you to good friend Benny who took me out for a nice dinner at Ray’s.  Had the steak and lobster tail and a wonderful bottle of Cab.  We had so much fun talking over old times and new ones.  Benny has been so sweet to help sell my book for the ovarian cancer research fund.  Friends are such a major part of healing and I was glad that we could help each other through our surgery woes.  Life is good!  I pray for all of you that have made my life so special.  Many of you I have never met…what a great world.

Sorry the blog was running late today.  Had to take Starr to the vet for her 6 month check up.  Sure was funny not having Moochie there with us.  No one was saying his name because Starr still looks for him when we do.  We just refer to him as her brother.  Bill stayed to direct the weed-eaters on where to cut and Starr and I Jeeped it all the way to town.  Two hundred and sixty dollars later, I am informed she needs her teeth cleaned and a chest x-ray. (Found a small heart murmur, goes with the age…14).  So back we go in a few weeks.  Oh, well…..she’s our baby!

In closing I would like to add my friend Valerie to our pray list.  Please pray her family gets through a tough time.  And a Happy Birthday on Friday to my friend Lindsay, who will turn 13!   Have a great week!


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