The Hanging Boob Box (MRI)

I was going to write this earlier but I still have not received the results of my Breast MRI.  So I will get this off my chest…ha ha.  Nothing I have done in my entire life of enduring all kinds of pain have I ever been so uncomfortable.  First, you have to climb your naked ass (undies only) up on the conveyor belt.  Face Down!!!  Then you situate your boobs in a box.  The big box has two little boxes in it.  Each little box gets a boob.  And they just hang! Then you place your face in a hole that resembles what you use when getting a massage.  Except it’s only about 3″ deep.  So you are re-breathing the same air for one hour.  Then you are deposited feet first in the tube.  They say it takes 45 minutes for the test.  More like 1 hour.  And YOU CANNOT MOVE!!!  The noise is so loud and annoying.  The only good thing about the noise is that it is so loud, you forget that you can’t breathe.  You have a frame that your breast bone and diaphragm rest on…but what about people with ports.  It is so painful to keep pressing on that area.  One of Bill’s rehab nurses, Betty, says now I know what a cow feels like when she is being milked on one of the milking machines.  The whole procedure is utterly ridiculous!!! 

So hopefully I’ll hear something soon and I will be sure to pass it on.  I figure it has to be good news.  You would think if they found something I would have heard something right away.  Anyway, for those of you who have to have a breast MRI in the future…. get wasted before you go in, ask for s strong sedative, take naked pictures of George Strait to put in your face hole, have someone waiting for you when you get out with a bottle of wine, and pray that no one sees the images of your tits hanging through the rack.  Not to mention your underwear ass facing the ceiling. 


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