The Funeral Home Experience

Some things in life are almost too much to bear.  On the top of my list is the funeral home.  The creepiest place on the planet.  Men in black , extra large elevators (made with marble floors and brass handles) which makes you feel you are traveling up and down in a coffin, a Kleenex storage warehouse ( so much Kleenex in every room that one could build a home with the boxes), skin crawling music, and dead bodies!  Even the lady that picked up dad at the hospital to take him to the funeral home was  the spitting image of Morticia in the Addams Family.  Of course… dressed in black and strange sounding voice.  I almost told her you can’t have Magoo.  If there is one profession there is to be in though …it’s the funeral home business.  They are making all this money off of  dead people.  Oh, I think I’ll take the Platinum Package for Uncle so-in-so…..that will be a cool $98,000.  Yes, ninety eight thousand dollars.  OK, so Magoo gets the “deal of the month” package.  Give us the one that cost the least and we get the most for when it comes to cremation.  This comes complete with a ride from the hospital to the funeral home, a box to cremate him in, a box to put him in after cremation, a ride to and from the crematory place, a portrait of Magoo( any one we choose), and free registry with the funeral home.  Now get this…..the Houston Chronicle wants an arm and a leg for a obit column.  (Wait a minute Magoo has an arm and leg and a new hip joint that’s not being used at the moment …just saying).  I think the guy at the funeral home said they start at about $1200.   You talk about robbery!  So Magoo will have a registry set up for him with the funeral home.  I will get all the details to you when I get them.

It is so quiet around here.  Everyone is going every which way, doing their own thing.  Not having to worry about who is going to stay with Magoo.  It is a blessing of sorts.  We all have our on lives and things we have to do but didn’t realize how much the care of a father took from our normal routine.  I know dad knew how lucky he was to have us around him but I don’t think he knew how much it had cut into our lives.  Now there is no longer a calling of “in coming” as Magoo made his way over to our back door.  Or the calling of our names over his monitor. Or the betting of when he was going to fall in the pool or off the porch.  But I can tell you that we are all going to miss that, each in our own way but we are all glad that he is in a better place with no pain for him.  Now if we can just manage his side kick Lilly.  The clone of Magoo.  She is now Magoo Jr.  She  roams the property with one of us and is seeing and experiencing the world in a whole new way.  The sedation pills are still used if we leave for long periods of time.  Might as well just leave things on the floor …cause that’s where they will end up.  We are now trying to figure out who will take her.  Lani leaves to move to South Carolina in March so we have a little time to decide.  We would let her stay over there at Magoo’s but she’d be so lonely.  And Starr and Moochie are set in their ways too.   My brother D and wife libby have moved to Kerrville and have an old girl of their own.   Oh well,  there is an answer somewhere.

I will be adding things to the blog for the next few days.  I will keep every one a-breast of the plans for dad and how to get on the funeral home registry when it is set up.   Thank you again for all your comments on Facebook, cards, e-mails, phone calls and prayers.  I speak for the entire family when I say that we are so lucky to have all of you in our lives.


This entry was posted in News. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Funeral Home Experience

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *